Archive for January 2007

Growing Young - An Introduction

So I guarantee this is the first writing series I'm going to continue posting and possibly finish. Why would that happen when none of my other 'series' have made it past the ever-difficult 1st post? Mostly cause I already have about 5 of these written.
'Growing Young' is a series I began a few years ago, and is inspired by thoughts borrowed from Rich Mullins, who borrowed them from G. K. Chesterton, who likely borrowed them from someone I wish I had known myself. I hope you enjoy a few of my thoughts on what I believe is a central theme of our faith, God's love, and the two working in step together.


Matthew 19:13-14, Mark 10:15

Some years ago I heard Ken Gire, an author and speaker, give a talk on the love and mystery of God. The intimate setting provided for whole families to attend, so there was a large group of children congregated near the front, with the adults in their chairs a little ways back. Part of Ken’s talk that night was about not being afraid or embarrassed to ask God the things about Him we don’t understand. He then opened up the room to any such questions about God that anyone wanted to share.

A small hand quickly appeared from the cluster of children near the front. Ken acknowledged a young girl who, after a moment’s pause and consideration, asked, ‘How can God be three people and one person at the same time?’ Some chuckles could be heard from the back of the room, from adults probably thinking it cute for a child to ask a question they themselves had long considered unanswerable, and thus had stopped asking.

But Ken never heard or simply ignored their snickers, which quickly ceased when everyone noticed the complete focus and tender care with which he received her question. His eyes and ears were on her alone, and the rest of us responded in complete, near-reverent silence. I don’t remember what answer he gave, but I do remember that he answered her with such love and holy simplicity that he not only met her on her level, but drew the rest of us to a place where we began to feel young enough to come before God with the same simple faith as that young girl. By affirming her innocent, unadulterated desire to know her Father better, he provided the rest of us a very candid example of what Jesus meant in Matthew 19 when of children He said, ‘the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’

Children in their innocence can handle in ways most adults cannot the mystery of God. For children, it is enough that God is bigger than their understanding or control, and it is enough that He loves them. They carry in them a faith that stands simply-but-firmly upon the promise that “Jesus loves me, this I know.” As each of us grow older and out of our sin-fated innocence, our view of God becomes harder to accept without the filters of personal comfort, understanding, and any number of assurances that, like any idol, mistake our own likeness for that of God’s.

Fortunately, God has a different plan in mind. Through His Spirit, God is working to restore and grow that innocence we have lost, and growing us into someone who can see through His eyes instead of our own. He is growing us into someone who resembles His Son, and if it is true what Chesterton wrote, that ‘we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we,’ then we are in Him growing young.

This series entitled ‘Growing Young’ is dedicated on bringing light to God’s growing us younger in Him, so we might be young enough to see the world through His very young and innocent eyes, where the fantastic is still possible, dreams are still alive, and heaven isn’t an escape from this world, but a completion of the magic He set in motion, so very long ago.

Evaporation

Pre-Script: I didn't write this. Andrew Peterson did, and I'm not sure I could've said it better anyway, so here you go, and enjoy.
 
I've noticed lately that a common refrain in my prayers is that God would untangle my mind. For as long as I can remember I've had this itch at the back of my brain that something just isn't right in there, and that that something has caused me a lot of problems. Aside from the fact that, from a theological standpoint, I'm broken and on the long road to holiness, my brain is and has always been a dysfunctional organ.

When I pray, my mind wanders almost immediately. I can start off praising God for His goodness and mercy and by the time that first sentence is through I'm already mentally zipping through the cereals in the cupboard, wondering which one I should eat today. For a long time I wrote my prayers down in a journal, not so much to keep a tally of which prayers God had answered, but so that I could try to wrestle my flighty thoughts to the ground and keep them from running away from me. But my hand cramps after a few pages of writing, and I've misplaced a couple of journals that were laden with deep, dark secrets. It horrifies me that those journals are somewhere out in America, being perused by some jerk who isn't decent enough to mail it to the address on the first page. (Can you tell it upsets me?) So I don't do that so much anymore.

I decided this past Easter to spend some serious time fasting, but after two days I just wimped out. The monks of old would have ridiculed me to no end and pelted me with cinctures, but it must be said that they didn't have a Ruby Tuesday's serving bison burgers right down the street. Call me crazy, but I think it would've been easier to do without corn meal and dirty water. It also doesn't hurt that my wife is a great cook. Just ask my waistline.

As a matter of discipline, I try to read a spiritually focused book after every novel, but with a few exceptions I've always been relieved when I'm finished with the God book and I can finally peruse my bookshelves for the next story that'll take me on some adventure. Why can't I long for the theological tomes the way I do for the next (and final) Harry Potter book? I read the bible almost every night with my sons, and it's always rich and meaningful, but after about a chapter I'm ready to move on. Don't get me wrong--I love scripture. That's exactly why it bothers me so much that it can feel like such a chore.

I don't like writing these things, because I'd rather portray myself as some beard-stroking, pipe smoking genius with barely enough time to write down all that's in his shining mind. If you function under any delusions that the guy who you hear singing his songs on your CD player is any smarter, better, or holier than you, think again. I'm not fishing for compliments, or hoping that anyone will coddle me for being down on myself. That's not what this is. I'm just appalled sometimes at how very, very fallen I am, even after years of encountering the maker of the world in very tangible ways. I take comfort in how pig-headed the apostles could be, even after years of eating, sleeping, walking with the Man Himself.

So Lord? Untangle my mind. Help me to see the logical end to my train of thought, that I might live in truth and not illusion. Help me to value time with others more than time with the next episode of Lost. Help me to fight tooth and nail against this culture of celebrity and wealth in a world where children are dying in the rubble of some terror blown city. Help me to recognize my attempts to deceive myself into believing that I can function without You. Help me to be who You want me to be, no matter how scary that is. Madame Guyon said that becoming more holy and drawing near to You was like water evaporating and rising to the clouds—it has only to let You do Your work. The impurities will fall away as I transform into who I am meant to be. Bring the good work you started in me to completion, and soon, because these days I can hardly bear to be myself.

So be it.

P.S. It feels a little weird posting something like this for public consumption, but I'm compelled to do so in the hopes that by telling you a little about my heart you'll learn something about your own. That's why I write songs, and it's why I post these journals, sometimes against my better judgment. Forgive me if my presumption is distasteful. Or boring.
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Post-Script: I'm a big, big Andrew Peterson fan. He's a great musician, writer, and person. Buy all his music, or browse his other journal entries at www.andrew-peterson.com/journals .