I lost my cellphone and my watch today. To those who know me best, I really lost them years ago, and today was just my life catching up to my quirks. I have many quirks. But that's not what I'm here to talk about, so I'll move on.

I really think the items in question were actually stolen. Not that I'm supremely capable losing them both on the same day, cause I'm at least that. One of my other quirks comes from my overly-active mind. I love puzzles and strategy games (Risk, baby.) My point being, when I get this idea in my mind that 'hey, maybe my stuff was stolen', within moments I have this intricate tapestry woven of how, when, and why my stuff was stolen, whodunnit, and how I can set an intricate tran to catch whodunnit in the act. Ridiculous, I know, but you should hear my actual plan. Within moments, my imagination has me believing that theft is a near certainty compared to the near impossibility that, you know, I just lost them like I lose everything else. I actually lost my glasses, wallet, watch, phone, and keys within 2 days once.

ok....twice....

I've had at least 3 pairs of glasses, and never held onto a pair more than 8 months. I can't count how many wallets I've had, except I know I've had more watches than wallets. My aunt got me two watches for Christmas one year. I lost one of them on new year's eve, bought an identical replacement, and recovered my lost watch the following October, and lost my 3rd watch, which I never even opened, leaving me with 2 of the exact same watch, 1 of which was 'stolen' today, and the 2nd of which I now have on my wrist, meaning it is facing certain doom.

Don't get me started on my keys.

That same aunt is used to giving me the same gifts over and over again. From 1997-2002, I received a portable CD player from her every Christmas, as I either destroyed or lost the previous one.

I'm an absolutely useless driver when other people are riding with me. My attention is one anything but where we're supposed to be going. Virtually anyone who has ridden with me, ever, can attest to this.

I honestly believed my phone and watch were stolen when I began writing this. I suppose that possibility has grown narrower in the last few minutes.

In moments like these, I'm awfully glad I know a God with a top-down view, who can see the start and finish lines for all my little adventures; who knows not just where to direct me, but know how to direct me, too. He knows the direction I need to go, but knows how to speak into my heart to calm me and help me realize I am the one keeping me lost - that I'm the thief that stole my stuff, right before I lost it.

In my attempts to feel cultural, I feel more fake right now than I have in a long time. The real bummer is I feel that way almost exclusively as a result of becoming the person I thought I wanted to be. That flow of images isn't arriving as easily as I figured it would. So what's my lesson here? A new laptop, an earl grey, and a pair of Teva's later, I don't feel particularly creative.

This also might have something to do with my decision to turn my back to God's truth today. I don't know why I do that. Just like the image Charlie Peacock paints in his song William and Maggie, God can lead me to the very edge of the world, and I can so easily respond by dropping a stone down the side and turning & returning to the very same life I had before. Where does that leave me? Is eternity a gift we can really stare in the face only to reject? How many times can I ask this question?

Instead of trying to explain this problem off in some poetic and fanciful way, why don't I spend some time in God's word? After all, Scripture is the only best way I can seek God as my foundation. I miss Him. I miss my daddy, and am amazed he still stoops down when I fall to look after me and nurse me back to health. Maybe some day he can teach me to fly.